The idea for this initial topic actually struck me as I was driving through the mountains outside of Denver, Colorado earlier this summer. I was working hard to stay alert as I passed the semi trucks chugging their way up the mountain passes when a pickup truck passed me to my left. I couldn't help but notice the water heater strapped precariously in the truck bed. It appeared to be held in place by not much more than bungee cords. I was no longer paying much attention to the storm clouds above nor my own fatigue, but rather as he pulled in directly in front of me, I was struck by the blind trust I was placing in the truck's driver who had likely been the one to rig together the straps holding the water heater in place. Wedged in the center lane next to the semi trucks on my right and the faster, sleeker vehicles streaming past me on my left I found myself following this water heater up the mountain longer than I hoped I would have to. It dawned on me that I was also trusting the manufacturer of said straps as much as I was the driver…"Please don't snap, please don't snap," I said to myself during the climb.
Then, even though I was tuned in to all that I needed to be to keep safe… the weather, the surrounding vehicles, the mountain roads, and this crazy water heater, I was struck by the thought that each day during the school year parents place similar levels of trust in those of us who work with their children in schools. Trust that we will educate their children. Trust that we will help to keep them safe while in our care. Trust that we will help instill the values to help mold their children into responsible citizens.
Then, I began to think of the circular fashion in which this trust flows.
As educators, we trust that the students will take what we present to them seriously and do all they can to learn as we ask them to. We trust that parents will help deliver well-rested, nourished, and respectful children to school each day.
As students, you want to be trusted by both parents and educators alike. Trusted to make your own, independent decisions. Trusted to go about your day, probably with the hope that as adults we won't show a lack of faith and remind, nag, and hassle you to follow all the instructions that come your way throughout the course of a typical day.
As parents, not only are you trusting of the educators, but also your own children. Trusting that they will follow your advice, even when you are not by their side to offer reminders. Trust that they will do what's right, even if no one is watching.
So let's turn to a school counselor's role in all this. Trust. It seems simple enough, right? We work hard to earn the trust of our students and our students' parents. Upon our first meeting with each of you, we want to be seen as someone who you can turn to in times of crisis. In fact, our goal is to be a resource for students, parents, teachers, and administrators no matter how big or small a concern might be.
I believe this starts by facilitating open and honest communication. We want to hear from you about your struggles and successes. This helps us to get to know you and build that trust relationship. In fact, to quote a former American School Counselor Association (ASCA) School Counselor of the Year, Tami Mackeben, "Communication is vitally, vitally important to trust and respect. I don't think it's any different building trust on a campus as a school counselor than it is building trust with anyone, with your family, with your kids, with anyone. You build it by being consistent and following through on things."
As school counselors we will work hard to earn your respect and trust and we thank you for your role in this journey we call education!
Now if I could just pass this truck and get that water heater in my rear view mirror.
Students - Please tell us how trusted you feel and what seems fair to ask of you in situations where you might have to work to earn trust back.
Educators - Start a conversation about how your classroom runs better when there seems to be mutual respect and trust.
Parents - Help outline the struggles that can exist when trying to raise teenagers in this day and age and still show trust in your own children.
Counselors / Administrators - What have you found to be the most effective way at building trust with students and / or parents?
Thanks in advance for your "Contemplations"! Go ahead and post your comments below.
P.S. This blog entry is dedicated to my Great-Grandmother, Elizbeth Duerr, who lived to be 104 years old and always told me you could trust someone who would look you in the eye when they shook your hand!
1 comment:
Trust - A simple word that can be so complex or so very simple. Your post is what we in education must do - For if we don't have our students trust us, how can we expect them to listen to and work with us? Outstanding thoughts!
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